I've been on the road for the past three days for my job. I'm working as technical support for my companies installation of new wireless hardware and software. Were installing a new way of charting, and I'm support to be there to catch any bugs. Each facility I drive to takes about an hour or so to travel. I had a lot of time to think.
Most of my thoughts are the abstract kind, just way off the wall stuff. Every now and then I have a great idea and think to myself, "Hey I should write this down". Thing is when I do write it down, the idea has changed or lost something in the translation. It just doesn't sound as good as when I was thinking it up. I thought I should try and keep a place were ideas like this can be stored and accessed from any location. Writely sounded like a good place to start.
I like to think that once I turned 13, I stopped advancing my personality. Every thing I do that seems grown up or adult is just me pretending, acting like someone much older than myself. I prefer to take off my masks then and return back to the thing I loved best about my childhood, my imagination. I like to pretend and lose myself in a video game, to geek out on a good fantasy world and try my best to keep my consciousness away from this world.
I'm 24 now, and I find that the older I get, the more I have to wear my masks. Sometimes I have to keep them on for days. Its tiring to keep it straight for so long. Like so many of my fantasy worlds, the longer I am this in this mask, the harder it is to take off. I don't have the imagination I once used to, its difficult to be creative sometimes. All I see now are blank faces and brick walls that once used to be scenes filled with people and dialog in wide open beautiful areas.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
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